Life is not always wad it seems
Finally, i've decided to sit down n create a blog of my own. Well, cos i need to tok to somebody rite now...Feeling frustrated, disappointed, sad,... mixed feelings...
It all started with the BAD 'A' level results. Failed to go into any Uni... Went into depression.. Den finali God showed grace upon me, i received a letter frm NIE, offering me the Diploma in Education. Finali~! Everything's over! That was wad i thought, AT FIRST.
The nxt thing i knew, i was posted to a pri sch to do contract teaching. The school, the principals, my colleagues.. Nice environment, nice people.. Everything juz looked so fine.. Den, only did i realised, those were only smoked-screen...
I tot my ambition of becoming a teacher cld be fulfilled here. But i nv knew tt my path towards realizing my dreams cld b so tough.. I've been challenged times n times again.. All because of Classroom Management (CM).
Bad, bad, bad... Tt was wad my Boss tot of me. Ok, i admit i reali din qt master CM last yr. But i've been trying so DAMN hard. N still.. it's BAD.. If u can't even control 9 students now, imagine 40 in ur class. 9 students, ya.. Tt is only 1 claz.. i got 20 students in all, for 3 levels. Ha.. 20 students.. U muz b thinking, easy job.. But u noe wad?! They r ALL from the last claz.. The lousiest results, the Bad-est attitude... My P2 worst, all those tt haf Attitude Problems r in my claz. They consists of the Quietest to the noisiest. I got pupils who dun open mouth at all or pupils who open mouth all the time. I got pupils with the nicest handwriting to the ugliest handwriting. Pupils who r energetic all e time to pupils who r sleepy all the time. I dreaded going to tt claz..I'm afraid of tt claz..
N all becoz of tis claz, my Boss tok to me abt CM AGAIN today. I cried. Hiding in e toilet. I'm disappointed, cos my afford wasn't recognise. The principal only walk pass e room when i'm scolding pupils n the rest of the time when my claz is gd, she's not there. I'm angry, with myself. Why cant i even control a small little claz? I'm hurt, is my ambition going to end here? Shld i reconsider abt this path? Sometimes i wld think, will i b able to go back to studies agn? I long to be back to the books agn. I promise i'll study hard tis time.
But despite all this i tried to b optimistic. Bad claz doesn't mean i'll die there.. Perhaps its a blessing.. Cos only those with not-so-gd results can have more rooms to improve. N once they improve, its clearly visible. Tts my goal.. To use their results to prove my ability.. As for CM, i'll try even HARDER.. I'm sure i'll succeed one day.. I'll nv give up! Never!
God is always putting me to trials..I'm sure Everything happens for a reason.. I believe He's not trying to grind me into dust, but to polish me into brilant GEM. Only if i pass all these challenges, den i'll grow into a better person.. Life may not be as beautiful as it seems, but always try to look at the brighter side.. Life still goes on...
P/s: Pardon me if there is any wrong usage of words n grammar. If u noe me well enough, u shld noe tt will happen! =P
It all started with the BAD 'A' level results. Failed to go into any Uni... Went into depression.. Den finali God showed grace upon me, i received a letter frm NIE, offering me the Diploma in Education. Finali~! Everything's over! That was wad i thought, AT FIRST.
The nxt thing i knew, i was posted to a pri sch to do contract teaching. The school, the principals, my colleagues.. Nice environment, nice people.. Everything juz looked so fine.. Den, only did i realised, those were only smoked-screen...
I tot my ambition of becoming a teacher cld be fulfilled here. But i nv knew tt my path towards realizing my dreams cld b so tough.. I've been challenged times n times again.. All because of Classroom Management (CM).
Bad, bad, bad... Tt was wad my Boss tot of me. Ok, i admit i reali din qt master CM last yr. But i've been trying so DAMN hard. N still.. it's BAD.. If u can't even control 9 students now, imagine 40 in ur class. 9 students, ya.. Tt is only 1 claz.. i got 20 students in all, for 3 levels. Ha.. 20 students.. U muz b thinking, easy job.. But u noe wad?! They r ALL from the last claz.. The lousiest results, the Bad-est attitude... My P2 worst, all those tt haf Attitude Problems r in my claz. They consists of the Quietest to the noisiest. I got pupils who dun open mouth at all or pupils who open mouth all the time. I got pupils with the nicest handwriting to the ugliest handwriting. Pupils who r energetic all e time to pupils who r sleepy all the time. I dreaded going to tt claz..I'm afraid of tt claz..
N all becoz of tis claz, my Boss tok to me abt CM AGAIN today. I cried. Hiding in e toilet. I'm disappointed, cos my afford wasn't recognise. The principal only walk pass e room when i'm scolding pupils n the rest of the time when my claz is gd, she's not there. I'm angry, with myself. Why cant i even control a small little claz? I'm hurt, is my ambition going to end here? Shld i reconsider abt this path? Sometimes i wld think, will i b able to go back to studies agn? I long to be back to the books agn. I promise i'll study hard tis time.
But despite all this i tried to b optimistic. Bad claz doesn't mean i'll die there.. Perhaps its a blessing.. Cos only those with not-so-gd results can have more rooms to improve. N once they improve, its clearly visible. Tts my goal.. To use their results to prove my ability.. As for CM, i'll try even HARDER.. I'm sure i'll succeed one day.. I'll nv give up! Never!
God is always putting me to trials..I'm sure Everything happens for a reason.. I believe He's not trying to grind me into dust, but to polish me into brilant GEM. Only if i pass all these challenges, den i'll grow into a better person.. Life may not be as beautiful as it seems, but always try to look at the brighter side.. Life still goes on...
明天会更好！
P/s: Pardon me if there is any wrong usage of words n grammar. If u noe me well enough, u shld noe tt will happen! =P
posted by Lin @ 3:04 PM
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