Hmm.. It's been a long time since i go back to church..I always think that i've 背叛了 God, tts why i've been put to trials times n times again..I know i deserve it..But somehow I cld feel tt God is still with me, He has not forget abt me.. He had sent many ppl to help me n support me...

Had a very interesting chat with 2 of my colleagues some time ago.. One was a new teacher tt came in only tis yr, Irene, she's same age as me, so we clique qt well.. One was a more experienced teacher, but young strong guy, Kenneth. Din reali tok to him de.. But tt day, i forgot how we started toking, n eventuali e 3 of us started toking abt Christianity. Well, actuali e 2 of them la.. But juz by hearing their conversation, u can feel tt they r different.. They r different in the way tt they handle difficult situations very well n calmly, and they cld speak with so much confidence.. I truly admire them...

Irene, a special girl. She juz came in for abt 2 months. But she's a form teacher now. Dealing all problems she encountered bravely n confidently. Everywhere she goes, she juz 散发着无比的自信. Irresistable.. Haha.. =P She's a newbie to teaching. But yet she's so matured in the way she teach n handling unexpected situations. She definitely has the passion for teaching,much more than i haf. Juz by looking at how much efforts she puts into every lessons, u'll noe tt. She oso has a great passion for God.. She's actively involved in Choir ministry.. A very sweet n nice girl.. She took e initiative to help ppl.. Knowing tt i was fr CHC b4 n now no longer there, She actually photocopied her sermon notes for me every wk.. Thanx Irene, I reali appreciate tt.. The words of God r reali of great help.. She is definitely a gd testimony of God.

Kenneth was oso once from CHC. But very long ago when CHC was still at e old Hollywood Theatre. Well, he's another good testimony of God. Trusting in God whole-heartedly n praising God wherever possible. Like Irene, they both bring smiles to everyone, everywhere they go.

Indeed, God's child is different.

Juz today, when i came back from lessons, I saw this can of Magic Bean Stalk from Mini Toons on my table. Surprised. Den i read e small note tt came wif e gift. It was from Irene. We were toking abt this Bean Stalk the other day. Saying tt we shld buy for each other, since the wordings on the bud 不适合买给自己的, 只能送人. Den i went to find out the price n stuffs, & was waiting for a chance to get tt for her.. But she surprised me by getting tt for me, using the reason "to celebrate your successful lesson observation". Cool~ She's always full of surprises.. haha.. this is not the first time she wrote me a note.. Every now n den, she'll write an encouraging note n secretly put on my table.. i can feel her sincerity n thoughtfulness frm the wordings she wrote.

She's juz like an angel tt God secretly puts in my life.. Using her to show His care n concern for me.. Wanting me to know tt I am not forgotten.. Reminding me tt, I am, still, on His mind... ..

Hooray~! No more Observations le~! yeah~ =)

12, was the no. of hrs i slept for the past 4 days. Average of 3 hrs per day. We r suppose to sleep at least 8hrs per day isn't it? 8hrs per day, meaning in 4 days, can get 32hrs of sleep= more than 1 day's sleep in 4 days. For e past 4 days, i only slept for half a day~! My God.. How did i survive tt? Haha.. No wonder i am falling sick so easily.. immune system down... But, it's lucky enough tt i din get any outbreak of pimples so far. Haha.. Anyway, there's more reasons to celebrate... =)

Yes, to celebrate tt the observations are over~! N results r positive... Great.. Thank God tt i got a lenient HOD.. He's very encouraging... The remarks n grading (VG, G, FG) for diff category is all from e 1st two.. V. gd & gd... Better than i expected... Was so worried aft the lesson.. But PTL, Everything's alrite... 终于可以放下心中的一块大石头了... Now i'm gaining back my confidence.. believing tt i can get into NIE soon.. Counting down time...

Oh btw, ThAnX to everyone who had kept me in ur prayers.. 我能顺利渡过这个难关，你们可算是功不可抹呢... =) Thanx once agn... =P

Alrite, Gotta get back to my markings le... Juz realised tt i got lotsa work to mark..neglected all the markings due to the observation (yes.. 'cos of it agn.. -_- )... Alrite, i'll stop here.. Till i'm free agn... =P

Had a very busy time last week, can't really enjoy any outings at all. Busy preparing for my 2 observation tis wk, one by vice-principal, one by HOD. Gotta write lesson plans and find lotsa materials to put up a gd 'wayang' show in front of them. I need to pass tis observation b4 i can relax n my chances of going into NIE tis July is higher. So, i'm going all out.... Ya.. ALL out...

Well, great news~! By the time i'm writing tis entry, i had my first observation le, e one by VP. N the outcome seems gd. VP recognised my effort~!! GrEaT~ But of coz, there r still rooms for improvement. She said my teaching got no probs, its juz my management they r looking for. Well, today she observed my P4. No prob, cos small class. So now, i need to concentrate on my P2, my HOD observing. Anyway, I guess i've passed e first obstacle, "I can see efforts put in." this sentence really boost my confidence. Juz one more mountain to climb, N i'll see hope.. hee~ lousy decription.. but well, i feel happy now. At least for NOW...

'Observation'.. tis word fills my head now..All i'm busy and stress with, is tis observation thingy.. Thou actuali i'm not qt sure even if i get thru tis, is my place tis July confirmed? Or will i encounter anymore problems? -ChOy~ *Touch Wood*- Well,still, may i appeal to all my pals out there who r reading this now, Please pray hard for me kz? If i get thru tis Thursday, i'll treat u all to something kz? haha~ Okie.. So i thank u guys in advance ya? ThanKx aLot~!! ;P

Juz came back aft a meeting wif my principal. Surprisingly how she can talk non-stop for 1 n a half hr. But well, its within tis 90mins tt i've changed my opinion of her. Thou i dunno whether i'll change my tots agn, but for now, she's a gd principal. Ha~

The agenda of e meeting consist of Curriculum,Discipline,Development and AOB(<-which i dunno wad it stands for =X). But we din go point by point. We juz had some discussions and some stories from Mrs Chin, den tts it. Mrs Chin did a great job in discussing these supposedly serious matter in a very relaxing way. Thou we are all tired(aft a long sch day,plus late nights during CNY), i was very alert(except for some occasionally movement as i wanna hide from the SUPER cold air-con), n to some extend find it interesting. For the FIRST time.. Haha~

We touched on alot of topics such as Dress Code, handling situation, how to interact more with parents n students, how we shld carry ourselves and drawing lines with the students, etc. Learnt some techniques from the stories tt Mrs Chin told us, which always happened to be "in her previous sch". Rem e story of how she told a parent to come earlier to pick e child up was reali something to learn from. She told e parent directly in a not-so-direct way. Chim huh? Guess tt reali comes with experiences. Mrs Chin has been in education sector for VERY long. She started younger than me... wah!

She somehow inspired me to work harder to achieve my dream. Her post today din come by easily. She worked reali hard to achieve wad she deserve today. Teaching is not an easy job. We have to expect stress to be involved. But be positive. Turn e negative stress into positive dessert. STRESSED = DESSERTS. Most importantly, u haf to ENJOY teaching. Even after many, MaNy, MANY years..

The moment you become a teacher, you are a special teacher. Indeed, we are special. In our own ways. I shldn't keep complaining. I haf my own talents to put into teaching. To make lessons interesting. Today i've heard my colleagues define the word "teaching". Its not only imparting knowledge, but oso imparting values. We r imparting knowlegde tt the students cannot get in the books. They r experiencing life. They r learning from us as well as we r learning from them. Everyday is a brand new day in teaching. U can't expect wad is going to happen tt day. Not many job can have so much different everyday ya? Teaching is the special one. Teaching is to make a difference in their lives, n they r making a difference in our lives too. While we r moulding the future, they r moulding ours. Wad an interesting job. Hee~ =P

Teaching is not so scary actuali,depending on ur mentality. Tts y i muz enjoy tis career, giving the students the best in wadever i do n teach. I wanna Make A Difference, to the students and to my life. I hope i'm MAD now~! ;)

Finally, i've decided to sit down n create a blog of my own. Well, cos i need to tok to somebody rite now...Feeling frustrated, disappointed, sad,... mixed feelings...

It all started with the BAD 'A' level results. Failed to go into any Uni... Went into depression.. Den finali God showed grace upon me, i received a letter frm NIE, offering me the Diploma in Education. Finali~! Everything's over! That was wad i thought, AT FIRST.

The nxt thing i knew, i was posted to a pri sch to do contract teaching. The school, the principals, my colleagues.. Nice environment, nice people.. Everything juz looked so fine.. Den, only did i realised, those were only smoked-screen...

I tot my ambition of becoming a teacher cld be fulfilled here. But i nv knew tt my path towards realizing my dreams cld b so tough.. I've been challenged times n times again.. All because of Classroom Management (CM).

Bad, bad, bad... Tt was wad my Boss tot of me. Ok, i admit i reali din qt master CM last yr. But i've been trying so DAMN hard. N still.. it's BAD.. If u can't even control 9 students now, imagine 40 in ur class. 9 students, ya.. Tt is only 1 claz.. i got 20 students in all, for 3 levels. Ha.. 20 students.. U muz b thinking, easy job.. But u noe wad?! They r ALL from the last claz.. The lousiest results, the Bad-est attitude... My P2 worst, all those tt haf Attitude Problems r in my claz. They consists of the Quietest to the noisiest. I got pupils who dun open mouth at all or pupils who open mouth all the time. I got pupils with the nicest handwriting to the ugliest handwriting. Pupils who r energetic all e time to pupils who r sleepy all the time. I dreaded going to tt claz..I'm afraid of tt claz..

N all becoz of tis claz, my Boss tok to me abt CM AGAIN today. I cried. Hiding in e toilet. I'm disappointed, cos my afford wasn't recognise. The principal only walk pass e room when i'm scolding pupils n the rest of the time when my claz is gd, she's not there. I'm angry, with myself. Why cant i even control a small little claz? I'm hurt, is my ambition going to end here? Shld i reconsider abt this path? Sometimes i wld think, will i b able to go back to studies agn? I long to be back to the books agn. I promise i'll study hard tis time.

But despite all this i tried to b optimistic. Bad claz doesn't mean i'll die there.. Perhaps its a blessing.. Cos only those with not-so-gd results can have more rooms to improve. N once they improve, its clearly visible. Tts my goal.. To use their results to prove my ability.. As for CM, i'll try even HARDER.. I'm sure i'll succeed one day.. I'll nv give up! Never!

God is always putting me to trials..I'm sure Everything happens for a reason.. I believe He's not trying to grind me into dust, but to polish me into brilant GEM. Only if i pass all these challenges, den i'll grow into a better person.. Life may not be as beautiful as it seems, but always try to look at the brighter side.. Life still goes on...

明天会更好！

P/s: Pardon me if there is any wrong usage of words n grammar. If u noe me well enough, u shld noe tt will happen! =P